©1986 Andrew Calhoun, recorded on Hope.
I recorded this as a dialog, with Kat Eggleston, who played guitar on the recording. This is the original, solo version of the lyrics.
If I were the long hand, circling by,
She'd be the hour hand, and she'd ask me why;
If I were a problem, in a big textbook,
She'd be the sister, who'd come and take a look,
Come and take a look.
If she were a mountain, and a mountain valley,
I'd be the water, rolling down her belly.
If she were the heat of an August day,
I'd be the street, where the kids all play,
Where the kids all play.
If she were the shoes on a two-bit hood,
I'd be the shoe-shine boy, and I'd shine 'em up good;
If I were the cast, and she the play,
We'd shock the people, and we'd send 'em all away,
We'd send 'em all away.
If she were the sand on the ocean shore,
I'd build a castle to stand evermore;
If I were the sun, and she were the sea,
I'd smile down at her and she'd smile up at me,
Smile up at me.