written 1973, ©1975 Andrew Calhoun, recorded on Staring at the Sun.

I guess I'm the same person as I was yesterday 
But I've locked up those feelings, and now I've lost the key 
Swimming in the water, floating in the flame 
You've hurt me so much in the last day or so, I'll never be the same 

You smile too often, so I don't think you know 
That sometimes it freezes, and the cold wind blows 
If half of us are evil, it's one of us two 
You're pointing straight at me and I'm pointing straight at you 

I will trust the poet to do battle at the core 
To put together pieces not rememberd anymore 
To understand the ocean, and to crawl along the floor 
I'm an angel, I'm a demon, please don't open up my door 

Staring at your smiles is like staring at the blind 
But the fire and the ocean leave your plastic eyes behind 
And my rows of books remind me of another state of mind 
As I walk out of solitude, determined to be kind 

But I find myself in games where I can't obey the rules 
And anyone who doesn't play is a coward or a fool 
And it always seems to come down to withdrawal or a duel 
And I feel my face grow tighter, and close in on my skull 

Horrible days, and horrible years 
Pounding heat, and atmospheres 
Waiting for me in the air 
You think I've got a treasure, but there's nothing left in here 

I sit in the shadows of shadowy places 
Watching lovers, with light in their face 
With all of us gamblers, playing our aces 
From the drunk with his drink to the boy with his laces 
Uncover me, save me, come tear me to pieces

Staring at the Sun (Songs 1973–1981)

Andrew Calhoun

“Always a brave songwriter, Calhoun looks back at some of his first songs…his sensitivity to the human condition was in place early on…Some of the songs would be stunning from a writer of any age.” -Sing Out!

“…somber, heartfelt, and introspective songs are wonderfully presented along with his obvious acoustic guitar talents and his abundant gifts as a storyteller.” – Dean Ramos, Illinois Entertainer

“Andrew Calhoun’s songwriting has the patience and clarity of a man who has lived a long time, who has loved, grieved, and traveled much, who has put pen to paper faithfully through many scenes and seasons. At the same time, Calhoun has a unique appreciation for the art of youth, which has earned his Waterbug Records label a reputation for discovering and supporting excellent young writers. It seems fitting, then, that Calhoun’s newest album, Staring at the Sun, is a creative return to the work of his own youth.

Deftly, tenderly, Calhoun brings the depth and focus of his experience to the vivid, inspired verse of his teenage years. The result is a poetic leap of faith; songs that soar on broad wings, borne up by the urgency and beat passion of the young and guided by the even-keeled wisdom of the ancients. Staring at the Sun includes some of Calhoun’s bravest and most abstract songs; frenetic and poignant by turns, they demand the listener’s full attention. Songs like “Kiss That Goblet” elicit triumphant cries of “go man, go!” while others, such as “John’s Wife,” inspire exquisite compassion and above all, silence. Staring at the Sun is evidence that Calhoun is among the most fearless, gifted, and avante poets of our time – keeping company with Leonard Cohen, Galway Kinnell, etc. – and that he shows no sign of slowing down.” -Anais Mitchell

16 songs, solo.

  1. The Living and the Breathing Wind
  2. Walk Me to the War
  3. Circle of Killers
  4. History
  5. Kiss That Goblet!
  6. I Have Run and I Have Crawled
  7. Atmospheres
  8. Broken Boundaries
  9. A Seat in the Mezzanine
  10. God Told Me I Could Come
  11. From Time to Time
  12. Moses
  13. John’s Wife
  14. Eugene
  15. Walking Through Sand
  16. Deliver Me
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